you can't ever live your life the way you want.
there's always gonna be that something, that someone, that rests in the back of your brain and you just can't help but keep picking, picking at it until you begin to bleed, bleed out a blood that has never been so dark of a red. this blood is filled with hate, lust, desires, curses, and lies. you know you can never give that up, or rip it out. it is one of your organs, a necessity to live. taking that away would be suicide. we live a life we think is great, honored, and fulfilled, when in the meantime we have such a heartfelt hate for the entire world, the entire universe. you never want to turn back. you turn around, and around, in an endless rotation of misery that makes you dizzier and dizzier until you have to stop yourself and regain your inertia you so unwillingly released just a few seconds before. we live in a dying age, an era of hatred and sadness. nothing is more depressing than to see the life you and me will be living is the climax leading up to our downfall as humans. yes, we have the technology, the cars, the computers...but what else to life is there? those who lead us lead us with hoaxes and lies, feeding us with false fodder and hope we digest every bit of it and bow to thier feet as we ever so blindly worship those who were created as equal as anyone else. what is our world coming to? death after death, war after war...there is no peace. there will never be peace. the proportion of activists to raging God-haters is so overwhelming there is no way anybody can stop what will happen. destruction is inevitable. nothing is going to change, no matter how hard you try. the best we can do is try to live the best life we can in a state of misery. we are all miserable. life has no meaning, except to pay for the food we eat and the clothes on our backs. our children have no refuge, and our grandchildren are hopeless. what the world doesn't realize is we're all goners, and it's all our fault. pitiful. absolutely pitiful. some of us may never find love or happiness in the midst of the everlasting crises of our planet. i urge you to try your best to find this love, this happiness, so maybe one day you can open your mind to your loved one, your child, and preach to them about your generation, the generations before you, and how they all contributed to this awful, shameful habitat we live in today. love is dead. hope is dead. righteousness is dead. you will never, ever, be the person you want to be. don't give up now, but don't try to live your life knowing you will be that person, that image. you can't control what happens to you, because once you think you're straying away from the path, that path will reshape itself into the path you decided and eventually will bite you in the neck later to your demise. you are no king. you are no leader. you can't change anything. all you are is a speck of dust on the ground we call Earth, fighting against the wind of agony to serve your purpose--a fledgling who cannot fly, a bird with no wings. we must walk to our destination because there is no other way. we all will walk alone, together. we are all alone.
